You may be wondering why it's been so long since I've posted a blog post. Funny thing is, I wrote a fabulous blog post about life being perfect that involved a story about Laura Dern about a month ago. It was about her meeting Ben Harper (and marrying him) a year after her live in boyfriend for 7 years, Billy Bob Thorton, married Angelina Jolie while Laura was on a movie shoot. Since Ben Harper is what I call "my music boyfriend", I have often told this story through the lens of life being perfect but not always knowing it at the time and about how Laura Dern REALLY traded up in the world. (I mean, really, Billy Bob or Ben Harper - is there anyone out there that would question that one?) But that at the time Billy Bob betrayed her, she described what happened as a "sudden death". I can guarantee you that she wasn't thinking about how life was perfect but then, a year later, she meets my music boyfriend (clearly, she didn't get the memo). So I wrote this fabulous story about it and saved it (rather than posting it right away) and the next day it was announced that Ben Harper had filed for divorce from Laura Dern. So much for my amazing Life is Perfect story! (although I do think it's perfect that I didn't post it!) Furthermore, it looks like this one blindsided her, too. But, rest assured, I still believe that life is perfect. And I believe we will keep getting the same lesson until we really learn what it is that we need to learn. Someday, I hope Laura can look back on this experience and see the perfection in it. I'm sure in this moment, it is less than perfect in her mind, but I believe the universe is generous and kind. I believe we get taps on the shoulder to pay attention to things, and if we don't, we end up getting the whack on the back of the head. What's generous about that, you ask? The universe really wants us to get "it". It wants us to learn, grow, expand, see where we've steered wrong, and give us an opportunity to get back on course. The universe wants us to step into our highest possible self, and return to it when we've lost our way. And maybe, just maybe, the universe wants Ben Harper to marry ME. I'll keep you posted on that one!
Aside from writing a pretty good blog post that will never see the light of day, I've had a series of events happen to me that have made me question "what am I supposed to be learning?!?" in the last 6 weeks. It actually makes me realize that the universe is not only generous, but it is HILARIOUS, which makes me think of a Regina Spektor song that says "God can be so hilarious. HA HA" I have often played her song "Laughing With" over the last 6 weeks. It's a great song that always makes me cry. As you can see from the following exerpt, God isn't always hilarious:
No one laughs at God
When the doctor calls after some routine tests
No one’s laughing at God
When it’s gotten real late
And their kid’s not back from the party yet
No one laughs at God
When their airplane start to uncontrollably shake
No one’s laughing at God
When they see the one they love, hand in hand with someone else
And they hope that they’re mistaken
The song goes on to talk about how God can be funny and hilarious - it's not all so grim. And so over the past 6 weeks, I have tried to see the events in my life as a comedy of errors and to see the humor in all that has gone down. Here's a re-cap of the last 6 weeks (well, only the stuff that fall into my comedy of errors category)
1) Whole water system fails at my 3 house property. Have to deal with the German born water guy who obviously has never been trained in how to keep your clients from freaking OUT...or perhaps was a language issue. After looking at the system, he busted into my house while I was on a business call to announce that "this is a DISASTER", waving his hands all about. I told my client I had to call them back. Without water for a day.
2) Major gas leak that, had I been home, and turned on the hot water, the pilot lighting on my tankless hot water heater would have blown my house to bits. Thankfully, I was in Seattle and my tenant and my handyman could smell that there was a leak, even from outside the house. Luckily the pets were unharmed. Gas main was shut off until the gas company could investigate.
3) Major gas leak reveals that the entire gas piping needs to be replaced and explains the $300 a month gas bills. Hmmmm...hadn't I asked them to come out in February to do a pressure test and they told me that everything was fine? Gas company takes no responsibility and says that I must use a lot of hot water or cook a lot (the hot water heater and the stove are the only appliances on the line). Without gas for a week. Shower at the gym and eat a lot of cereal.
4) When digging trenches for the gas leak, they hit a water main and left several severed pipes in my irrigation system that they simply reburied before fixing (lovely). My tenant was without water for 2 days.
5) Water guy falls through the top of my huge water tank, leaving a huge hole in the top of my very expensive tank. Luckily he is ok, but the tank was not. He insisted that this has never happened before and at first, failed to take responsibility for fixing the tank. He quickly changed his tune after telling him I called several of his competitors who verified it was his responsibility and that they would gladly become my new water guy.
6) Needing a much needed "day in the dirt" (aka gardening), to get re-grounded and not obsess about the 5 figure unanticipated outpour from my bank account, I went to the hardware store to purchase new gloves since I had blown out the index fingers on my current pair and I hate dirty nails! While in the check out line, a man collapses on top of me, pinning me to the counter, while having a heart attack. He falls to the floor and after about 4 minutes dies before my eyes. I have never seen someone look so frightened in my life and I will never forget the sheer terror in his eyes. When his soul left his body, it went right through me and out the door. I exclaimed "he just died. Does anyone know CPR?" Thankfully someone did, but 15 minutes of CPR failed to revive him. The paramedics took over, but also failed to revive him. I return to my broken down house and plant 200 bulbs in his honor. A friend at church the next day, exclaims with a smile of what an honor it was that he chose to die with me. Sorry, but as cool as a person as I think I am, I don't think that really figured into his death plan.
7) 6 days later, I get on a plane to S Korea to visit an old friend. 2 days into my trip, N Korea decides to attack S Korea. Although I never felt in danger, it did a good job of freaking out everybody else in my life, and, admittedly, I let out a big sigh of relief when my plane took off 4 days later.
The good news of all this, is it makes a helluva good story. You got to admit, it's a pretty long list of crappy things to happen in 6 weeks (and I didn't bother to tell you about the health scare or having to break off a budding relationship because he lied to me one too many times, but neither one of those were all that funny, even in hindsight). At the time, none of these seemed funny at all. In retrospect, I have re-told the story with tears coming down my cheeks, and they were tears of laughter, and only mixed with tears of sorrow when I talked about the poor man who died. My theory is, when life gives you lemons, make some limoncello, have a party, and tell some good stories.
Don't worry, though, I'm not making light of the whacks that the universe has given me. I spent a good 12 hours of flight time in the last few weeks thinking about all of this, and countless hours before and hence. Mourning for the poor man who died in a hardware store surrounded by strangers. Praying for the people of Korea and that they may have the peace and safety they deserve. Wondering if the mantra I had with my house of "it's always something" was the reason why so many things have gone wrong over the past 2 years and if I changed my mantra, that maybe, just maybe, nothing else would go wrong. And, most importantly, thinking about "what does the universe want me to be learning right now?" because when all else fails, I just have to remember my faith in that life is perfect, I just might not know why it is in this very moment. So I persevere, trust that the universe is kind, generous AND hilarious, and learn a little bit more every time I sit down to write. So when life gives you lemons, remember that they are the essential ingredient in a myriad of fabulous, yummy recipes in life, and you are the master chef.
